


We Gonna Do What They Say Can't Be Done

by luckywitch



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5 Times, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Truckers, Gen, Humor, Trucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-20 23:30:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14271918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckywitch/pseuds/luckywitch
Summary: East bound and down, loaded up and truckin',We're gonna do what they say can't be done.We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there.Five times Clint meets his coworkers in a trucker au.





	We Gonna Do What They Say Can't Be Done

**Author's Note:**

> S.H.I.E.L.D. - Stark-Hogan International Logistics and Distribution
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornhole

 

 

Clint starts out his time as S.H.I.E.L.D. as an owner-operator, with an old truck named Ronin. He bought it from some woman looking to quit the business and fast. He didn't ask too many questions, paid with the little bit of cash he had left and called up an old buddy in Des Moines to see if he had any work. Clint kept the name Ronin after he looks up the word at a rundown library in Marshall, MO and sees that it means a masterless samurai. He's sure he's no samurai, but he likes the masterless part and the word wanderer pops off the page at him.

When Nick Fury gets him to sign the contract and become a company driver for S.H.I.E.L.D. he gets a new truck that is the latest thing in freightliner technology: aerodynamic, emission reducing, and saves fuel. All of this, that he gets to name himself. When he sits high up in the cab the first time, it makes him feel like a bird with cameras replacing the side mirrors, giving him a 360 degree view, almost. He names her the Hawk, and somewhere along the way he gains the handle of being the Hawk's eye, Hawkeye.

Things are already running full speed at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ when all the paperwork is signed and legal stuff finished. A Ms. Hill gives him the tour, she's a manager of some sort but he never catches her title and watches her do a little of everything, and a route to the Windy City in two days time.

He shows up with his favorite trucker hat on ("My Other Ride is a Sky Cycle"), a hot cup of coffee, and a couple of items to make his new truck feel more like the rolling home it soon will become. It doesn't take him long to leave the Big Apple and soon he's cruising on I-80 rocking out to some Hank Williams Sr. because he's classic like that. The best part is if he sounds more like a Basset Hound baying than a crooner no one is to know in the perch of his truck.

It's around Cleveland that he gets a incoming call except it's not quite from his phone. The call is coming from inside the truck.

Clint looks around his dashboard, his eyes catching a blinking light. He presses the button and is rewarded with a disembodied voice saying, "So you're the new guy?"

"Yea," Clint answers warily. His eyes flashing to his screens, marking a red truck coming up on his left side. "Who's this?"

At first the reply Clint gets is a blaring rendition of "Tom Sawyer" by Rush filling his cab. Clint quickly fumbles for the volume button.

Turning to glare at the truck on his left, he sees the man giving him an amicable wave.

"How's it going new guy?" the unknown driver bellows over the music still playing in the background.

Before Clint can reply a school bus enters the highway and his neighbor let's out squawk of excitement.

"Jarvis, we've got a school bus at one o'clock, you know what to do."

Clint watches the truck speed up right along side the bus where tiny arms make a fist and pull down (the wordless gesture known to school age children that means honk your horn).

This guy is obviously going to appease them, Clint thinks, but what he doesn't expect is the horn to play the opening music to "Iron Man." Or part of "Under the Sea." Or colorful LED lights to dance around the cab.

Clint stares at the sight bemusedly and is still in a state of puzzlement when the bus exits. The truck slows down so they're cab to cab when the guy calls again.

This time Clint knows exactly what to look for on his dash and the sound comes streaming in.

"That, new guy, is our school bus special. I was particularly inspired by your use of Disney Jarvis."

"Iron Man," Clint distractedly mentions because that's what you're going to play for kids?

"Nickname that stuck. Somehow they couldn't fit in handsome, genius or devilishly good looking. Luckily the tabloids fit in all of that and more. Press, am I right?"

He continues to talk while Clint has a strange inkling that he knows exactly who this Iron Man is and well, can't really believe he's talking to his boss. His boss boss. That drives his own rig, with a musical horn.

A question comes in cutting through his thoughts. "So new guy, how's it going?"

"Call me Clint," he replies as Iron Man moves back into the granny lane.

"What you don't want to be called Hawkeye? We have a whole nick name club here going on. You haven't met the Twins, War Machine, Captain America, Thor -- although that's not so much as a nickname as his real name but the man does look like someone you would sacrifice a goat to..."

"Depends, should I be calling you Iron Man or Tony, Mr. Stark?"

Tony laughs in response and with that they have a nice little conversation for the next 15 miles, until Tony has to take an exit for Michigan.

 

* * *

 

Clint is in the lounge, waiting for Steve and his crew to finish up an oil change and a couple of other maintenance stuff when some silver haired stranger comes plops on the couch, picks up the other controller and challenges Clint to a race. Well, in Mario Kart.

"Is 200cc good with you," Clint asks.

"Definitely. I call Yoshi," the other guy replies.

Clint picks Waluigi, because purple and it matches today's hat, and they're off to the races. The first race Yoshi launches a blue shell at Waluigi, and when it hits Yoshi zooms past the finish line. The stranger gloats, "You didn't see that coming?"

"Lucky break that time, this round is mine. A well timed banana and Yoshi won't be missed" Clint smack talks.

"I'd like to see you try," his challenger smirks. The second race, has Yoshi starting off with a head start, but with the nicely aimed fireball Clint is able to pass by and steal the lead. "You didn't see that coming," Clint scoffs. A trio of green shells he picks up helps him fend off any oncoming attacks and Waluigi wins that round.

Clint brushes his shoulders off and his challenger says, "Let's see if you can do that again."

A long, dark haired woman comes in, sitting on the arm of the couch to watch the last race. "What's the score?"

"Tied. Winner wins next round," answers his opponent.

She nods and waves at Clint, "Good luck."

Of course, their final track is Rainbow Road N-64 edition. Basically, hell in a trippy hand basket. They both get the boost in the beginning and things for the most part are evenly matched, with a frantic, "No whammies" and "Drift. Drift. Drift!" muttered between them. Yoshi gets a green shell and aims it at Waluigi, who makes a ramp just in time.

"Stupid, bro," the woman exclaims.

Clint too caught up in the moment, "No... you're stupid bro."

They're in lap two, when Waluigi picks up a boomerang flower and aims it perfectly at one of the hair pin turns and Yoshi goes turning in circles, coins spilling out.

"Boomerang! Respect it." Clint shouts as he drives past.

The woman is giving all sorts of suggestions: tailwind to speed past, use the brake, don't forget to jump as they both enter lap 3. Things are getting pretty hairy as Yoshi has mostly caught up. Neither are able to get any sort of advantage over the other until their last item grab. It's all about coasting it out, not making any mistakes and most importantly, making Yoshi wipe out before the finish line. Clint release his red shell, but not quick enough for the Yoshi to use his mushroom to speed past the finish line.

"No!" Clint cries as his opponent at the same time yells, "Yes!"

The woman laughs and claps, telling Clint, "Good game. I haven't seen Pietro have to work this hard for win a while."

"Well, if we make the rematch a game of [cornhole](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornhole), he'll have to work plenty hard," Clint grins.

"Wanda, I told you I'd help you and practice," Pietro responds, not looking helpful at all.

"Only to lose to you every time bro, I don't think so. I'll stick to Super Smash Brothers," she says to Pietro, turning to Clint, "We haven't introduced ourselves at all. I'm Wanda, and this is my brother Pietro."

"Hi, I'm Clint, the new guy," he mentions as he finally looks both of them over. Tony mentioned someone called "The Twins" and he wonders if this might be them.

As if reading his mind, she states, "We're also known as The Twins."

"But what I want to know more about," Pietro interrupts, "Is what the hell is cornhole?"

Clint laughs and starts to explain the game to him and soon enough Morita is coming in from the garage to tell him his rig is good to go.

"We'll schedule the rematch another time," Clint jokes, as they both wave goodbye from the couch.

 

* * *

 

Clint first meets Sam, when Sam sees his hat and says, "Did you catch last night's episode of Dog Cops? Everyone else missed it or recorded it for later and I need someone to discuss with!"

They're getting into a pretty good discussion about the protagonist of Dog Cops that Clint doesn't even mind waiting in the S.H.I.E.L.D.'s D.C. office, when Coulson says, "Hawkeye and Falcon, your rides are ready." When they both stand up, there's that moment of meeting your Bizarro World counterpart.

"Falcon," Clint states, nodding his head. Sam returns in kind, "Hawkeye."

Clint manages to run into Sam a couple of times over the next two weeks, and while their meetings aren't tense, there is a sense of reservedness.

Darcy, the R&D intern, happens to catch one of these meetings, when they're grabbing snacks from the vending machine.

"Dude, what's going on there," she asks.

"Nothing," Clint mumbles into the honey bun he's taking a bite out of.

"Ok? Don't believe that for a sec. What, did he cut you off? Drink the last of the coffee? Spoil Star Wars for you?" Darcy badgers.

"No, nothing like that. It's that I'm Hawkeye, and he's, well he's Falcon."

Darcy actually stops popping a Skittle into her mouth to give him a disbelieving look. "So, this whole thing," she gestures in the air between Clint and the direction Sam went, "is because you both have bird names? Are you kidding me? Because if you're not, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"You wouldn't understand, " Clint tries to justify.

"You wouldn't understand my ass," Darcy replies. Her response to Clint's wink after that statement is to flip him off. "We're fixing this now, come with me," she says dragging him by the arm.

Clint's not entirely sure how Darcy does it, something about ostriches being creepy, but by the end of it him and Sam are going along together slicker than a greased pig.

(Later on in their friendship, Clint will admit his hesitancy about when they first met. Sam laughs, clapping him on the back, "I completely understand.")

* * *

 

Clint's known Natasha for a while now. A friendship where neither can quite pin down when exactly they became friends, but they somehow did and somehow still are friends. She's the one who helped convinced him to become a company driver, as she had moved over to S.H.I.E.L.D. herself as well as doing the occasional international delivery. She liked to flaunt her ability to drive on either side of the road.

He's driving back from New Jersey when he receives a call.

"Hawkeye, do you copy? Over."

"What's up Nat?" he responds.

"Wanted to make sure you didn't miss your 8 o'clock call time, you woodcock. Now hop in the hammer lane and look presentable. Over," she replies.

"Ma'am, yes ma'am," he signs off and goes to the left lane to pass a van that's had its right blinker on for the past two minutes.

He makes it back in time to New York to finish his logbook, shower and show up to the restaurant Natasha had texted him.

It's nice but not too fancy and he wanders in past the hostess to where Natasha is already seated.

She greets him with, "It's about time, you six plumed bird of paradise."

"Seriously, you need to stop watching Animal Planet and I'm on time," he replies.

"I'm widening your intellectual horizons and besides, I know one of the reasons you have Hulu is to watch Too Cute, so do you really want to go there?"

"I think what I want is a burger and a beer and not necessarily in that order."

"That's what I thought," Natasha retorts.

They catch up over dinner, talking about old acquaintances and how Clint is liking it over at S.H.I.E.L.D.

"It's been...it's actually been great, Nat. I'm glad you talked me into it. Definitely a load of interesting characters though," Clint huffs out.

"And that's why I do the international route," Natasha winks. "In honor of you starting, I wanted to get you something," she says pulling a box of nowhere.

Clint unwraps the gift, "I know you know you didn't have to, but thank you Natasha."

'Oh my god. You bought me an Indiana Jones hat! This is so cool. "

"It's a fedora, an actual one and not a trilby and I'm trying to show you there are other kind of hats out there Barton. And I've already lost you..."

"Because I'm an adventurer now! No concrete jungle can trap me. I am an urban explorer."

"Ok, little pigeon, don't get ahead of yourself now," Natasha interrupts. "Maybe we'll get you to a place where all the hats you wear won't have a slogan on them."

"We all can dream," Clint laughs.

 

* * *

 

Clint's at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ again, this time waiting for his meeting with HR. It's their annual review the company policies and sign-on-the-dotted-line-that-you-understand meeting. It's a pain in the ass but it's nice to be working at a place that gives a shit.

Peter, HQ's personal bike messenger, is in there now and it's should just be a couple of minutes before Clint goes in. He's waiting with 2 other people, when a guy bursts through the door, talking loudly, and takes a seat right by him. At first, Clint thinks the man is on some sort of bluetooth device, but nothing about the conversation that he's overhearing makes it seem like someone is answering back.

Clint tries to ignore it, instead playing snake on his phone, since he'll be in the office soon. But right as he's about to get his new high score, the strangers turns to him and says, "Hi, I'm Wade. I like long walks off short bridges, chimichangas, and Star Trek."

"Uh, hey there, I'm Clint," he warily responds.

"So Clark, is this place a drag or what? We should set off the sprinkles and turn this place into a giant pool with rubber duckies."

"It's, uh, Clint, and what exactly is it you do here," he curiously asks.

"Oh, I deliver to the fourth wall and all, you know how it goes," Wade comments.

"I really don't," Clint replies.

As Wade is going to say something else to him, Clint's name is called by the HR manager. He gives Wade a nod, and passes Peter on the way into the office, right before he closes the door, he hears Wade say, "Hey Petey, did you eat your Wheaties?"


End file.
